((oh shit i should sleep))

fiestaysiesta:

bloodycrumpets:

fiestaysiesta:

bloodycrumpets:

fiestaysiesta:

bloodycrumpets:

Yes, of course. The smirk is very telling of your sincerity.

I am being very sincere right now.

Oh, definitely. I don’t doubt you for a minute.

And I don’t doubt your sarcasm.

Thank the Lord, you’re not as stupid as you are ugly.

You might want to use some bug repellent on your face because there are two large fluffy caterpillars on your face.

Oh no I wonder what you could be referring to I have never heard that one in my life ever. Let me quickly check in the mirror and realise with an enraged gasp that you’re talking about my eyebrows.

baiser-moi-cheri:

bloodycrumpets:

baiser-moi-cheri:

aiaie just what Arthur needs, more novelty underwear.

Oi, my collection is as entertaining as it is comfortable.

my point exactly, most of it is made of cheap nylon.

Is your dick made of cheap nylon too because that would explain a lot.

But you also reconciled with that son, and he not only has a more stable life but you're also a major factor in said life, even if you aren't part of it constantly. I say that you are a father of the year, Arthur.
◥		Anonymous

Well I…suppose that’s true…

heroatyourservice:

bloodycrumpets:

….Perhaps if you occasionally got of your fat, randy little arse and did some housework you might realise there are plenty of ways to spend the day on your hands and knees. Idiot.

I’ll have you know I have people to do my housework for me…usually…

And you would know how to spend the day on your hands and knees.

I’ll have you know that I am perfectly capable of slobbing about while other people do my work for me as well. But I choose not to.

And yes I would. I have the stamina of a horse. Shut up.

baiser-moi-cheri:

bloodycrumpets:

baiser-moi-cheri:

bloodycrumpets:

baiser-moi-cheri:

bloodycrumpets:

I have spent most of the day on all fours. It is not something I would recommend if  have joints. Or a nervous system.

#Doing manly things obviously.

Or being done by manly things~

FUCK OF, FRANCIS, I WAS WEEDING THE FLOWER BEDS.

Oh is that what you’re calling it nowadays~

I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S BEEN CALLED WEEDING FOR A SIGNIFICANT PERIOD OF TIME, YES.

You know I’ve never kept up with your English Slang, but whatever you say dear. 

-he’s trying not to laugh at how hilarious his own joke is but he’s failing-

How is it you go from so suave and charming to some tittering, insufferable twit in the blink of an eye?

baiser-moi-cheri:

bloodycrumpets:

baiser-moi-cheri:

bloodycrumpets:

I have spent most of the day on all fours. It is not something I would recommend if  have joints. Or a nervous system.

#Doing manly things obviously.

Or being done by manly things~

FUCK OF, FRANCIS, I WAS WEEDING THE FLOWER BEDS.

Oh is that what you’re calling it nowadays~

I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S BEEN CALLED WEEDING FOR A SIGNIFICANT PERIOD OF TIME, YES.

fortroughs:

bloodycrumpets:

fortroughs:

bloodycrumpets:

happy father’s day, daddy!

…..Are those boxers.

Yeah!

Because I thought those were what you would like!

I picked them out myself.

I-

Well, I mean, they’re lovely but-

Where did you even get your hands on novelty boxers?

/It occurs to him that he will have to wear these on particularly…urm…slow days. If at all./

I looked all over for them, see?

[he beams, even prouder]

I wanted to, so I did!

And look, it’s got a rad unicorn on it!

They are…very nice, Pete. It’s even pink, how lovely.

Is there…a particular reason why you chose boxers?

That was almost sixty years ago, dad.

Hush, son, I’m trying to be difficult.

baiser-moi-cheri:

aiaie just what Arthur needs, more novelty underwear.

Oi, my collection is as entertaining as it is comfortable.